He repeats this same comment in the last scene of the last episode!Jerry is desperate for his new girlfriend, a professional masseuse, to give him a massage but every hint or suggestion seems to fall on deaf ears.
I'd have to grow a moustache and get all kinds of robes and lotions and I'd need a new bedspread and new curtains I'd have to get thick carpeting and weirdo lighting. My life is the complete opposite of everything I want it to be.Country Megaticket is the hottest country music festival including Jason Aldean, Brad Paisley, Lady Antebellum, Rascal Flatts, Toby Keith, Miranda Lambert and Sugarland take to the stage to bring what is sure to be the most existed experience of the year for country music fans!Seinfeld first aired 25 years ago this week, and would go on to inspire legions of imitators and disciples. Below, we celebrate the juiciest lines from Jerry and co. I hate men, but I'm not a lesbian" –George Costanza: "I have a bad feeling that whenever a lesbian looks at me they think 'That's why I'm not a heterosexual.'"George Costanza: "I've driven women to lesbianism before, but never a mental institution"George Costanza: "You know I always wanted to pretend I was an architect"George Costanza: "Borrowing money from a friend is like having sex. I'm miserable, so I might as well be comfortable.'”George Costanza: “When you look annoyed all the time, people think that you're busy.”Jerry Seinfeld: “That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.”George Costanza: “This woman hates me so much, I'm starting to like her.”George Costanza: “I spend so much time trying to get their clothes off, I never thought of taking mine off.” George Costanza: “If you can't say something bad about a relationship you shouldn't say anything at all.” Kramer: “I need the secure packaging of Jockeys. ” George Costanza: "The sea was angry that day, my friends, like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli..."Jerry Seinfeld: “Elaine, breaking up is like knocking over a Coke machine. Ya get a sense of it and then you look away." Frank Costanza: "You have the chicken, the hen, and the rooster. It was the exact same look my father gave me when I told him I wanted to be a ventriloquist."Jerry Seinfeld: "Did you know that the original title for War and Peace was War, What Is It Good For? That's all you've done, as far as I can tell.""Look at George - he's on his ninth date with Betsy, he still hasn't gotten anywhere with her. Oh, maybe not academically speaking, but I was perceptive.This has been the dream of my life ever since I was a child, and it's all happening because I'm completely ignoring every urge towards common sense and good judgement I've ever had. that's why Star Trek really was the ultimate male fantasy. What is a date, really, but a job interview that lasts all night?It just completely changes the relationship.”Jerry Seinfeld: “You know the message you're sending out to the world with these sweatpants? You can’t do it in one push; you gotta rock it back and forth a few times and then it goes over.” Jerry Seinfeld: "Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. "Jerry Seinfeld: "Sex, that’s meaningless, I can understand that, but dinner; that’s heavy. information."George Costanza: "I don't think I've ever been to an appointment in my life where I wanted the other guy to show up."Jerry Seinfeld: "You, my friend, have crossed the line between man and bum." George Costanza: "You should've seen her face.They go on a double date with George and his new girlfriend and it's obvious that Jerry's girlfriend doesn't like him, which drives George to extremes.Elaine is dating a man named Joel Rifkin - not the serial killer - but he seems oblivious to his name and how people react to it.While Kramer is dating Elaine's roommate, Kramer sees Elaine naked.George takes a job moving cars from side of the street to the other. Kramer gets a line in a Woody Allen film, popularizing the expression, "These pretzels are making me thirsty!